Dine On You Fatass

I believe this was written in a fit of boredom and was posted to this site's message board by Nobody in early 1998.

Posted as Your Glorious Hero - Roger Waters

Hmm...never been on one of these bloody things before! I was quite surprised to see myself on the Internet. I just now realized what a humongrous honker I still have. I assume all of you worship me like your idol...and rightfully so! Everyone should be made to bow down to rather large statues of my likeness in public squares! There was never a better songwriter than me! Never mind that bollocks I said before about John Lennon. I can write circles around any of those bloody wankers on MTV with their hats on backwards! Speaking of that, a fellow who went by the name of Dr. Dre tried to shoot me the other day! I informed him of who I was, and he said he was a fan! He asked me for my autograph, and address, so that he could write me in the future! I was flattered, and gave him my address. When I returned home, my house had been robbed! I suspect it was David Gilmour that did it. Speaking of that bloody wanker, I recently composed a tribute to him I felt my fans might enjoy. I only have the lyrics with me at the moment. Here they are:

I found these lyrics to be quite fitting. I wonder why Dave threatened me with legal action when I read them to him? I tried to call back, but that bloody ankle-biter of his hung up on me. Well, I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, I've never posted anything on the Internet before...

Resident psychopath,

Roger Waters

P.S. The name of my next album shall be Musings of a Misunderstood Artistic Genius. It will have a new lyrical twist--the story of a boy whose father dies in the war. Wait a minute, haven't I written that before? Me brain's a scrambled egg, mate...

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