ROGER WATERS
THE PROS AND CONS OF HITCHHIKING

© 1984 Columbia Records

4.30 AM (Apparently They Were Travelling Abroad)

(Apparently they were travelling abroad)
(And they picked up some hitchhikers)
[Jade:] "Oh God...."
[Wife:] "Wake up you're dreaming."
[Jade:] "What?"
[Wife:] "You're dreaming."
[Jade:] "We were moving away from the border."
[Wife:] "Huh, what border?"
[Jade:] "Have a nice day."
[Wife:] "Huh?"
[Jade:] "Have a nice day."

We were moving away from the border
Looking for somewhere to sleep
The two of us sharing the driving
Two hitchhikers slumped in the back seat
[Woman:] "Hello"
I sneaked a quick look in the mirror
She gave me a smile
I said, is anyone hungry?
Should we stop for a while?
So we pulled off into a layby
Her dress blew up over her head
I said, would you like to come with me?
She said something foreign under her breath
[Woman:] "(foreign words)"
And the sun shone down on her lovely young limbs
I thought to myself she's much too good for you
I lay down beside her with tears in my eyes
She said

4.33 AM (Running Shoes)

So I stood by the roadside
The soles of my running shoes gripping
The tarmac like gunmetal magnets
Fixed on the front of her Fassbinder face
Was the kind of a smile
That only a rather dull child could have drawn
While attempting a graveyard in the moonlight
But she was impressed
You could see that she thought I looked fine
And when she turned sweeter
The reason, between you and me, was
She'd just seen my green Lamborghini
[RW:] "I think it was the Lamborghini."
So we went for a spin in the country
To feel the wind in our hair
To feel the power of my engine
To feel the thrill of desire

And then in the trees I heard a twig snap
Warning lights flashed on my map
I opened my eyes and to my surprise
There were Arabs with knives at the front of the bed
Right at the front of the bed
Oh my God, how did they get in here
I thought we were safe home in England
She said, come on now kid, it was wrong what you did
You've got to admit it was wrong what you did
You've got to admit it was wrong
[Jade:] "Oh god....Jesus..."

4.37 AM (Arabs with Knives and West German Skies)

Sleep Sleep
I know that I'm only dreaming
[Jade:] "Leave her alone
get out..out..get out of my house!"
Through closed eyes
I see West German skies on the ceiling
And I want to get back
To the girl with the rucksack
To feel her flaxen hair
I want to be there
See the sun going down
Behind Krupps steelworks
On the outskirts of some German town

Guten Abend meiner Damen und Herren Ha Ha Ha Ha
Willkommen in Konnigsburg Ha Ha Ha Ha
Wollen zie danzen mit mir oder drinken Bier Ha Ha Ha Ha
Thank you but......
This young lady and I
Will just finish this bottle of wine
It was kind of you...but
I think we'll just say goodnight
[Jade:] "Leave us alone!"
Goodnight
[Jade:] "Leave us alone!"
(Bell)
[Man:] "Could I have the key to one four three, please?
Thank you."

[Man:] "Hello, yes, I'd like to order breakfast please
I'd like coffee for two, and toast with marmalade
No...marmalade.

4.39 (For the First Time Today-Part 2)

For the first time today
I held her naked body next to mine
In this hotel overlooking the Rhine
I made her mine
Ooh babe...ooh babe
Come with me and stay with me
Please stay with me
[Woman:] "Huh...what is it?"
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
[Woman:] "No..."
Stay with me
[Woman:] "Forget it."

4.41 AM (Sexual Revolution)

Hey...girl
Take out the dagger
And let's have a stab at the sexual revolution
Hey girl
Let freedom for all be our rallying call
Tomorrow lets make our new resolution
Yeah, but tonight lie still
While I plunder your sweet grave
And remember
Only the poor can be saved
Hey girl
As I've always said I prefer your lips red
Not what the good Lord made
But what he intended
Hey girl
Don't point the finger at me
I am only a rat in a maze like you
Only the dead go free
So...please, hold my hand
As we blunder through the maze
And remember
Nothing can grow without rain
(Thunder)
Don't...
Don't point your finger at me
I awoke in a fever
The bedclothes were all soaked in sweat
She said, you've been having a nightmare
And it's not over yet
Then she picked up the doggy in the window
(The one with the waggly tail)
And she put him to bed between two bits of bread

4.47 AM (The Remains of Our Love)

I just cowered in the corner
My pyjama coat over my head
And she smiled as she finished her sandwich
And her cold eyes fixed me to my dark history
As she brushed the remains
Of our love from the bed
And when she had turned back the covers
When all of the prayers had been read
She said, come on over here you silly boy
Before you catch your death of cold
I was only joking
Let's leave behind the city grime
Let's not compete
It could be fine in the country
Couldn't it though...come on lets go
I said, OK

[Young Child:] "Are we going to go now?"
[Jade:] "Where would you like to go darling?"
[Wife:] "Mmm...Vermont...Wyoming."
[Jade:] "Wyoming...huh....Children!"
[Children:] "What?"
[Jade:] "We're going to Wyoming
Darling...Which way is Wyoming?"
[Wife:] "Hook a right here
You're going the wrong way."
[Jade:] "I know that
I know children...
Let's see how many...Volvos we pass
On the way to our new life in the country
...One
[Wife:] "Jade, don't do that, that's really negative."

4.50 AM (Go Fishing)

As cars go by I cast my mind's eye
Over back packs on roof racks
Beyond the horizon
Where dream makers
Working white plastic processors
Invite the unwary
To reach for the pie in the sky
Go fishing my boy!

We set out in the spring
With a trunk full of books about everything
About solar devices
And how nice natural childbirth is
We cut down some trees
And we trailed our ideals
Through the forest glade
We dammed up the stream
And the kids cooled their heels
In the fishing pool we'd made

We held hands and we exchanged bands
And we practically lived off the land
You adopted a fox cub
Whose mother was somebody's coat
You fed him by hand
And then snuggled snuggled him down
By the grandfather bed while I wrote
And we grew our own maize
And I only occasionally went into town
To stock up on antibiotics
And shells for the shotgun that I kept around
I told the kids stories while you worked your loom
And the sun went down sooner each day

[Jade:] "Chapter six in which Eeyore has a birthday
And gets two presents."
[Child:] "Daddy...come on dad."
[Jade:] "Eeyore the old grey donkey stood by the side
Of the stream and he looked at himself in the water
'Pathetic' he said, 'That's what it is'
'Good morning Eeyore' said Pooh
'Oh' said Pooh, He thought for a long time

The leaves all fell down
Our crops all turned brown
It was over
As the first snowflakes fell
I realized all was not well in the camp
The kids caught bronchitis
The space heater ran out of diesel
One weekend a friend from the East
Rot his soul
Stole your heart
I said, fuck it then
Take the kids back to town
Maybe I'll see you around

I said, go then
She said, OK
And so...leaving all our hopes and dreams
To the wind and the rain
Taking only our stash
Left our litter and trash
And set out on the road again
On the road again
On the road again
[Child:] "Bye Bye Daddy, Bye Daddy
You can bring Pearl she's a darn nice girl
But don't bring Liza."

4.56 AM (For the First Time Today-Part 1)

For the first time today
I feel it's really over
You were my everyday excuse
For playing deaf, dumb and blind
And who'd have ever thought
This was how it would end for you and me
To carry my own millstone
Out of the trees
And I have to admit
I don't like it a bit
Being left here beside this lonesome road
Lonesome road
Lonesome road

4.58 AM (Dunroamin, Duncarin, Dunlivin)

[Trucker:} "Hey kid, you looking for a lift?
Get on up here
How's it going good buddy?"
I nailed ducks to the wall
Kept my heart in dark ruins
I built bungalows over the hills
Dunroamin, duncarin, dunlivin
Took my girl to the country
To sleep out under the moon
Next thing she's going crazy
[Trucker:] "Women are like that kid
What the hell can you do?"
She waits for the real Mr. Right to come
Gently removing her heart
With his promises of real communication
[Trucker:] "I saw a program about that on TV, heh"
Who's always picking up the tab
Who built a bungalow for his momma and dad
Me.....
Who took you out to all the shows
Who worked his fingers to the bone
Me....
While you were asleep
[Jade:] "It was me...I did!"
I kept you in buttons and bows
[Jade:] "Christ! All those clothes!
So you could encourage this creep
[Hick:] "With that program
I bet some son of a bitch made a million dollars."
With his neat feet
And his clean fingernails
With his wise but twinkling eyes
He's a rock standing out in an ocean of doubt
[Trucker:] "Get movin', get off the road ya Goddam faggot."
And compromise
I'd like to go on with this bit of a song
Describing this schmuck
I'd like to go on, but I'm going to throw up
[Trucker:] "Not in my rig you don't boy
Get the hell out of here.

5.01 AM (The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking)

An angel on a Harley
Pulls across to greet a fellow rolling stone
Puts his bike up on it's stand
Leans back and then extends
A scarred and greasy hand...he said
He said, how ya doin bro?
Where ya been?
Where ya goin'?
Then he takes your hand
In some strange Californian handshake
And breaks the bone
[Whiny person:] "Have a nice day, hehe"

A housewife from Encino
Whose husband's on the golf course
With his book of rules
Breaks and makes a 'U' and idles back
To take a second look at you
You flex your rod
Fish takes the hook
Sweet vodka and tobacco in her breath
Another number in your little black book

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
Oh babe, I must be dreaming

I'm standing on the leading edge
The Eastern seaboard spread before my eyes
Jump, says Yoko Ono
I'm too scared and too good looking, I cried
Go on, she says
Why don't you give it a try?
Why prolong the agony all men must die
Do you remember Dick Tracy?
Do you remember Shane?
[Child:] "And mother wants you."
Could you see him selling tickets
Where the buzzard circles over
[Child:] "Shane."
The body on the plain
Did you understand the music Yoko
Or was it all in vain?
[Child:] "Shane..."
The bitch said something mystical
(Herro)
So I stepped back on the kerb again

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
Oh babe, I must be dreaming again
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking
These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking

5.06 AM (Every Strangers Eyes)

[Waitress:] "You wanna cup of coffee?"
[Customers:] "Heh, Turn that fucking juke box down
You want to turn down that juke box....loud in here"
[Waitress:] "I'm sorry, would you like a cup of coffee?
Ok, you take cream and sugar? Sure."
In truck stops and hamburger joints
In Cadillac limousines
In the company of has-beens
And bent-backs
And sleeping forms on pavement steps
In libraries and railway stations
In books and banks
In the pages of history
In suicidal cavalry attacks
I recognise...
Myself in every stranger's eyes

And in wheelchairs by monuments
Under tube trains and commuter accidents
In council care and county courts
At Easter fairs and sea-side resorts
In drawing rooms and city morgues
In award winning photographs
Of life rafts on the China seas
In transit camps, under arc lamps
On unloading ramps
In faces blurred by rubber stamps
I recognise...
Myself in every stranger's eyes

And now, from where I stand
Upon this hill
I plundered from the pool
I look around
I search the skies
I shade my eyes
So nearly blind
And I see signs of half remembered days
I hear bells that chime in strange familiar ways
I recognise...
The hope you kindle in your eyes

It's oh so easy now
As we lie here in the dark
Nothing interferes, it's obvious
How to beat the tears
That threaten to snuff out
The spark of our love

5.11 AM (The Moment of Clarity)

And the moment of clarity
Faded like charity does
Sometimes
I open one eye
And I put out my hand just to touch your soft hair
To make sure in the darkness that you were still there
And I have to admit
I was just a little afraid
Yeah
But then...
I had a little bit of luck
You were awake
I couldn't take another moment alone