Transcript of the KAOS Show

Transcribed by Gerhard Den Hollander

Jim Ladd : Thank you for your call, allright, since we have the guy here who brought us, we might as well do something, now before we gonna do that, let me introduce you to one of the intrinsical parts of the bleeding heart band. This is a gentleman who has a solo album out on his own , which is doing quite well. He is the keyboardist for the Bleeding Heart Band, he was in a group called Ace on time, also Squeeze and most recently Mike and the Mechanics. Will you please welcome the keyboard player of the Bleeding Heart Band, Mr. Paul Carrack

(TEMPTED :: Paul Carrack)

Ladies and gentleman Paul Carrack

[band enters the stage]

So for the very last time, we are about to link up with the satelite , we will begin the last show of the Radio KAOS tour with one more telephone call, this one from outside london

B:- Hello, I'm Billy
J:- Yes
B:- I hear Radio Waves in my head
J:- You hear Radio Waves in your head, Ok. Is there a request that you have tonight for KAOS?


J:- That was a song called Radio Waves by RW & TBHB

(Jingle :: "K.A.O.S. Radio")

You're listening to a live satelite broadcast, from KAOS on the road and we've got Billy on the line

B:- I'm from the valley's
J:- You're from the Valley ?
B:- No Jim you schmuck, the valleyS
J:- Aahh, The Valleys
B:- Wales, Male voice choires
J:- Ah whales England, now is this sperm or bluetip ?
B:- Ha Ha Ha Ha very funny Jim
J:- Sorry, but obviously when you were put together batteries were not included, is that why your voice sounds like eh.
B:- I'll show you Jim

(Bleeps, intro from Welcome To The Machine)

J:- Look all of that aside, I'm just glad that you're with us tonight, Welcome To The Machine


KAOS on the road,


Let's go back to the telephones now, while you were listening to that last song, Billy and I were having a conversation and he was explaining me how he was able to call me here at the station

B:- I was able to use the cordless phone Jim, otherwise I would be completely incommunicado
J:- Ahah, yeah
B:- I can hack my way into anywhere I choose
J:- Let me get this straight, you can hack your way into...
B:- See that light bulb next of you
J:- Yes ?

(BANG lightbulb explodes)

B:- Information is power Jim,
J:- Information is power, I like that.
But let me get this straight, you've just moved out to LA and you're living with you're great uncle david You're a long way form home pal

(Music of Who Needs Information starting)

B:- I miss the male voice choires and Molly
J:- Who's molly
B:- Benny's wife
J:- Who's benny
B:- [Talking]Me and Ben went out

(News Flashes:
	Further Conflicts in Northern Ireland, two man have been shot 
	dead by undercover securirty forces [oh]
	Australia has protested against Ethiopea about the seizure of 
	a ship from Australia carrying relief aid from australia, part 
	of its cargo was destined for the rebel controlled area of 
	eritrea and Tigre Confisques
	...... about weapons.
	Obviously if we are producing things that we cannot need, 
	that we cannot even justify to our own people, the we are 
	going to supply them to others
	And when that happens then we're fuelling war
	20% of the worlds scientists are involved in weaponsresearch
	25%of R&D worldwide goes on weapons
	50 off all british government R&D is on weapons
	more financial and intelectual recources are devoted to 
	(chime) weapons worldwide

(Babbling continues during the chime of the cash registers)


A nice version of money and Paul Carrack on vocals by the way
And now a word from one of our sponsors:

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R:- "Einz, zvei, drei, alle"
[PIGS III different ones]
Mel Collins

J:- Wembley I give you the words and the music of Roger Waters! Unbelievable set of songs. Doesn't matter which side of the Atlantic you're on. In that set we heard :

You & I are listening to Radio KAOS


OK' let's get back to Billy. Billy....., Yoohoo, Billy?

B:- I'm sorry Jim, I was miles away, keeping an eye on Molly
J:- You were keeping an eye on Molly, I thought Molly lived in Wales
B:- I had hacked my way into a surveillance satelite I can see whole wales from 500 Miles high Jim
J:- Let me get this straight, You're trying to tell me that you can keep an eye on Molly by hacking into a government satelite come on


Hold tight Baby, baby dear in the starlight
There is a glow in the stars tonight
It's moving
It could be your satelite

Is it burn deep
Then will it bring me closer to thee
Oooh Two hearts
Ohh will it keep us apart


When you're coming home
Cause I need you back
And I want you back
Right now, right here


Where did we go?
And it's not all that bad
And I now your hearts though
And I want you to know
I'm here for you

Whoo Whoo Whoo
When you're coming home
And it's not all that bad
And I know your hearts through

Goodbye little spy in the sky
They say that camera's don't lie
Am I happy, am I sad
Am I good , am I bad

Oh Billy, Billy, come home
Ooooh I need you, Yeaheahheah

Lady's and gentlemen miss Doreen chanter

Well Billy, if you really are as clever as you say, perhaps you can close the door


thank you


And now for some live rock'n'roll at K.A.O.S. where rock'n'roll comes out of chaos in a song called The Powers That Be


R:- Thank you we're gonna will take a break for about ten minutes and the we'll be back to do some more
J:- Thank you 10 minutes is exactly 10 minutes, we'll turn it over to our local station Radio KAOS will return in just a moment

(Break, the movie, some russians (sound alikes), interrogating someone about UFO sightings)

Sound man : OK, welcome back. The people out in the audience truck say you didn't do half bad for an english audience. You were nice and loud and you woke everybody up in LA who were trying to sleep into we don't have to do the first half again. So we'll do a few new ones this time. So will you welcome back once more the voice of Radio KAOS, Mr. Jim Ladd

J:- Welcome back to part 2 of the radio KAOS show. This is the part of the show where we take a couple of telephones calls from the audience to find out what you find from the first part of the show, or generally what is on your mind. Hello Roger how are you?

(crowd getting crazy)

Rog:	Hello there
	[Phone in:]
J:-	We have out first caller here
R:-	Speak to me
	--Roger Will you run for president?
	What a horrible thought, no                          
	--Do you believe the tide is turning?
	Yes and NO (at 2:00 not at the end of the show yes)
	--Where WYWH, the Wall, TFC personal?
	--Do you think of Maggie, in the 2nd verse of Pigs?
	Occasionally, also on others

J:- I like to continue with the second half of Radio KAOS, but first a word from one of our sponsors.

(goof up, tape doesntt start)

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J:- We think of it as main street, but to the rest of the world it's known as the Sunset strip...



J:- We've all been wondering how this next bit was going to play in London. You see it's kind of a combination of sexual innuendo and sportsfishing so...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN the fish report with a beat. Featuring paraquat kelly and his fishing companion Cinthy the fox. Allright, it's time now for the fish report with a beat

85 red rockhard rocca
35 Naughty bits
Marina dildo
And that'll do it for this edition of the fish report with a beat

?- They liked it
J:- Ladies and Gentleman on Gtr, Andy The HAt fairweather low this one for our great leader ???? in the south Atlantic.

B:- Hey Jim I've been listening to your show
J:- Billy?
B:- Look what I have found
J:- Billy, I appreciate your magician with the cordless telephone and all but we're on the air live and you cannot just cut in any time you want
B:- You'll like this
J:- Billy...(sigh)
B:- I found this in the files on Abbbey Road Studios

(Billy takes control over the video display and shows a video of 'Arnold Layne')

Rog: The grat Syd Barrett, he shouldn't be forgotten
J:- Well Billy I don't know how you did that
J:- Well, just try to ???
J:- Have you come up with a solution yet?
B:- I'm getting closer
J:- Well we let our young computer genius work on his particular problem, while we continue with a sonc entitled "If"

[5:06 AM]


J:- Allright let's get back to Billy and found out how he is coming along
B:- Just getting through some data it must look good

(News flash about hacking trees)

One third of the Amazon rain forest has been mostly for cattle to supply the USA with hamburgers. For each westerner, two to three tress die each year, representing an area the size of England and Scotland.


('Fuck all that' chanting turning into 'tear down the wall')

You will remember at the beginning of the show we had a call from the hall from a guy by the name of Sean who wanted to hear more music from The Wall. Well, Sean this one's for you it's called "Another Brick in the Wall"


J:- Allright Wembley, there's a fine voice tonight. Since we're on the subject of education, in America one goes to school for 12 years. Cramming your mind full useless facts called homework, try to please your parents, try to please your teachers, and when you come out at the end of these 12 years the lights are on, but there's nobody home...

B:-   I'm finished Jim
J:-	You're finished Billy?  Have you solved the problem?
	Have you come to some sort of decision yet?
B:-	It's later than you think
J:-	It sure is later then I think, but what's the point
B:-	There's still some time. (Franatic bongo drums start)
	I heard that
	Now the question is what should be done?
B:-	It's time to go home 
J:-	Easy maestro
	What do you mean it's time to go home
	(more drums)
	Billy, Easy Billy 
B:-	It's time to go home
	(bongo's, war room sounds)

	Bearing Zero, Six, Zero range 
	Nuke analyzer
	This is the SPO confidence report now,
	Mid confidence is high
	Confidence high inform missile warning in form sentence
	Hello we have an IRBM in the system and our confidence is high
	Missile warning informed sir,
	Thank you
	(and some more of this)

B:- 4 minutes and counting
B:- I've decided to stop the pain
B:- I'm going to push the button
B:- I'm sorry Jim, it's the bottom of me


(black out)
	There must be more to life
	Then lucky strikes and some unlucky ones
	And folded flags and pipes and drums
	I wanted everyone to know what it felt like
	You me and The Powers That Be
	Will you forgive me Jim?

J:- If you'll swear you'll never fly again


Rog:	The bleeding heart band
	Mr. Mel Colins
	On the drums, Graham Broad
	Jay Stapley
	Mrs. Doreen chanter
	Miss Katie Kissoon
	Mr. Paul Carrack
	The inevitable Andy Fairwqeather Low
	And from southern California, the voice of Radio KAOS, Mr Jim Ladd
	Thank you

Someone: Roger Waters

Rog:	Thank you, thank you all for calling,
	we'll see you all again very soon, in about a minute

Rog:	We've eh...OK, we've got eh we've got a friend whose coming to night,
	you, most of you, will know her voice from an album from a long time ago,
	Dark Side of The Moon, and she's coming here to do some songs with us,
	Mrs. Clare Torey

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